Italy, Graduation, and Swine Flu

So if I had gotten around to writing this post last week it would have been a LOT MORE swine flu oriented. I don't want anyone to underestimate the extent to which I was worried about swine flu. However, I read a very interesting article about how boring this pandemic is becuase in a real pandemic you will not be able to slowly, painstakingly record each case. And so I am feeling much better. 

The rest of my vacation was great. Rome. Sometimes I worry that Kaitlin and I are just fringe friends because even though we lived togetehr we dont talk that much or like go out together normally, and Pi phi is just such an unusual situation. But we were so happy to see each other, and she always asks such good questions. There is no one in my life who likes to analyze social stuations as much as she does, and we are so on the same page about that. ANyway she had a lot of work becuase it was her finals time so I did a lot of sightseeing by myself for at least the first two days. But hten I got really sick of sightseeing and just started shopping full time pretty much. I bought everyone souvenirs i need to except my mom and johns sister and i already know what and where they are both gettign things, i feel so much better.

I fell in love with this leather bag becuase they have beautiful leather things in italy. but it was like 60 euros and i kind of feel weird abuot real leather anyway. and so i determined not to buy it even though i really need a new bag and it would cost like 30 euros event o get a cheap new one. so i was walking into the vatican where i was determined not to spend any money so i wouldnt support the vatican. so much so that i even got gelato before i got in becuase i was afraid i would need some because the gelato here is so good. so good! one day i ate my gelato and then as soon as i threw it away i got some more just right htne becuase i couldnt even help myself. so i was wlaking into the vatican and i saw this vendor selling purses like knock offs, then i saw the one i was in love with. so i walked over and started looking at is like wistfully and this guy came over and was like it is a great deal its only 25 and its REALY LEATHER (yea right). and i was like hmm okay thanks and he was like what its too much? and i was like yea a little, im a student, sorry. and he was like you want a discount? a pretty girl discount? and i was like maybe i dunno sure? and he was like okay, 20! and i was like okay well ill seee how much money i spend and come back...and started to walk away and he was like okay hold on hold on 15? and i was like done and bought it but i only had 2 euro things so i had to give him 16 and asked for a euro back and he was like you know what? you are so pretty here, and gave me the 2 euros back. so got the bag for 14 basically and its not real leather which is great so i dont even have to feel bad about it. even though being in europe really makes me want fur and leather, and above all a cute cropped tan leather coat but im so against it....but its so cute....

so then i entered the vatican with my new purchase and saw st peters basilica but it cost 7 euros to get in and i didnt want to spend any money there so i sat down and texted john about my bag and how unsafe i felt being that i was in my first absolute monarchy. that like if the pope finally succumbed to alzeimers right then and said kill the heretics! im pretty sure i was surrounded by people who would do it and it would be FINE. and then i accidently spelled absolute like absolut like the vodka and then i laughed to myself about how thats probably what the pope drinks. and then I left. 

I got to go out with kaitlin and her friends and that was GREAT. her friends are great. it is such a different vibe to have boys in the program, and like, real people.there are so many bars like, actual bars in italy. it felt like being in anna rbor almost becuase you could just go out to a bar area and bar hop. I got to cook for kaitlin like every night too. I made johns stirfry, and eggs and toast, and pasta, and I even bought artichokes but I didnt get a chance to make them. :(. I did get to eat a deep fried artichoke though, and it was amazing. I also got to eat caprese salad pizza, miam. 

The couchette to italy was great I as all alone in the cabine! On the way back though it was AWFUL. I ended up being in the same cabin with two girls who were from institut catholique but we spoke french to each other for like 15 minutes before we figured out we were all american which i think is problematic. Then there was this 18 year old from  mexico (can you say swine flu?) and a like super clingy woman from magrheb who thought we were all the same age even though she was like 35 who made us all take photos together...then there was this horribly fat smelly woman who had like fake TOENAILS and was using this toothpick to like get dirt out from under them and her fingers, and guh it was awful. she left the toothpick like kind of where my head was supposed to be and i was so afraid it was going to fall on my head while i was sleeping.t hen i was on the bottom bunk for the first time and it like doesnt even go flat? the head rests still like come into your space becuase it just converts from chairs into a bed and then, the worst of the worst happened. she CHANGED HER PAD IN THE CABIN. what the hell. WHAT THE HELL. it was awful. 

So then I was back here and like really unhappy about it. I just really was not excited about being back in paris, and then my first class back my professor like kept us an hour after class and told us we were like going to have to have saturday class. I should have known better then to get upset about it, I just feel like so isolated here, and was again reminded of honestly just how much I lmiss my real friends. and how like when I get back it feels like they will be all graduated and gone and done and I will never get to play beer pong with them again. And i was like really down about John even though he had already been gone a week, my routine had been so diffeernt that I forgot like how really unsatisfying skype is, and now it is like a lot worse because ihad gotten used to him not being around. I had like a really hard two days. But hten I remembered that this is not like a dramatic change from how I had been feeling here before, I had just been used to being so happy being around my friends and john all the time. 

So then yesterday I went shopping for a leather jacket, despite my reservations about leather, and ended up getting this really cute shirt adn a belt at the vintage store. Then I talked to eva for a long time, and erika for a while,and even shannon for a few minutes. And I think I feel a lot more ready to face this gradutaion thing (which is good becuase it is technically today. I wonder if I will have the same feelings again on the last day of school here or just general end of study abroad feelings. I am about ready to admit that I am really excited to go home. LIke I do think studying abroad is really important if only for like the changes in how you perceive things when you get back home but I am tired of being here. I know that makes me sound so ungrateful, like I'll stay, I just wish I could be home now. 

Last year at this time I wasl ike flipping out about jobs and being ready and stuff like that and now, even with my worst case scenario come true, I do not have a job or a place to live except with my aprents this summer and I am so much calmer about it. Maybe that is the legacy of being here, that I am just too distracted being worried about htings here than worrying about real life concerns lol.