Rachel Shelly at FNAC. The good news is I had a really horrible experience with leader price cheese this week (and an allergic reaction to there lotion I am seriously never going there again!) and as a result am going to be as skinny as she is since I am in France and am anti-cheese.

Omg I am a hundred times happier today and I think it is because I just realized it is 830 pm and I haven't spoken all day

I feel way better today than I have in a long time- I got so much done! I woke up to an adorably sweet message from Javon. I had told her I was going to have to promote her to best friend since erika is moving to Nashville like, when I get home. She wrote back talking about how she was already in the process of like looking at tickets with her family and trying to come here. I am feeling very weird about my friends, and about the lack of social connections that exist outside of college. My mom always warned me that you have to date a lot of people in college becuase outside of college it is really hard to meet people, but I like really feel like its harder to meet friends than boyfriends any day. I am so happy with John and I am so excited about our plans for the future but it makes me worry about keeping my friendships a priority becuase for the first time in my life they are what is really more tenuous. Javon was talking too about how she has not really been bonding with people in her groups at school. Its just weird how she and I met and were bff like 10 minutes later but here it has taken more than  month to get less than half as comfortable as we are together. John says that all I have to do is make the choices that are right for me and that will put me in contact with people I have more in common with and naturally it will be easier to make friends with them. Maybe. So, it will be fantastic if she comes. My cousin Samantha is going to come too now! In may for her birthday and graduation. We are going to go to London together. I think this is going to affect my plans to go to spain except like maybe for a weekend but whatever. I feel so *blessed* that everyone is going to come. 

       Amine and his new girlfriend came to visit this week! She is a saint, and adorable. She has a little girl. I think, or maybe a little boy, what a big change for amine after dating kate. Kate is one of my friends from camp who dated amine for a while. So even though this girl was like hanging out with her boyfriends exgirlfriends friend she was like awesome and bought me hot chocolate and was just such a grownup about the whole thing. She invited me to come stay at her house in Arles and Montpelier with her and amine and her son/daughter for the first few days of spring break and I really hope I can get it worked out! The second day they were here we just actually couldn't meet up with cell phones and maps it was too confusing and I was so tired and carrying like 500 lbs of coursepack, but it ended up being okay. It was just so nice to have them here.

       This week also welcomed....Rachel Shelley/Helena Peabody from the L-word! I went over to the FNAC she was visiting today. I couldn't find the venue though for the longest time. Evidently though when french people want to say the basement they say it is the negative first floor like it goes -1, 0, 1, 2, 3...etc. So  by the time I got there is was PACKED. She didn't speak french at all but kept trying it was adorable. I guess they are going to make a the L-word movie!!! 

      After that I went and found the train station that all my trains are leaving from, and did all of my readings for almost the next two weeks so I can focus on this big project I have coming up, and went to the train station from the airport so I could give samantha and alisha and john and maybe javon like super specific instructions. I tried to take pictures for the object project but it was HAILING. So I'm just going to go before knitting this week, I haven't been in two weeks because it was canelled the week before last and then this week I was too busy studying for my test, hanging out with amine, and watching the l- word to go. I don't know it doesn't seem like that much I guess but I feel like I am in so much better shape now. Tomorrow I want to go buy sketch indian food from the market that comes near my house. 

     So nowww I am going to delightedly stay in and write cover letters all night. I'm serious, I'm like really excited to get them done so that I can hopefully send them all out by monday??? monday morning perhaps? and then focus on finishing up my powerpoint/starting my outline tomorrow. 

It was like, 15 lbs, the figue. It was like christmas tree cookie dough wrapped around a fruitcake kind of thing? It doesn't sound that delicious but it was and it made me full for like, nearly 9 hours. It was ridiculous. I have accomplished so much today but it just like was a terrible day. We didn't get any of our assignments until 2 oclock this afternoon so I had to read everything for the whole week today and I just feel so lazy that I have been laying in my bed reading for like 5 hours now. I really wanted to go get some ice cream after I picked up my assignments but everywhere that sells ice cream in paris is closed on sunday, like all of the stores even are closed. So, i couldn't get any which is probably better anyway but I am like, starving now. I realized today I haven't eaten any red meat the whole time I have been here I don't think. Definitley not beef at least. I really want like a hamburger. The fact that it seems to be getting warm in michigan has me thinking a lot about barbeques and summer time, and the fourth of July. I can't wait to go up to my parents cabin, and to kayak around with John. I am going to become such a good kayaker this summer, my core is going to be so strong. It is really hard to miss spring because it is always so surprisingly great in MIchigan. Although, its not like its not going to be spring here, it just seems like spring is more gradual and freezing here so far. JOhn was reminding me about how fall isbetter and how much I will love being in Michigan in the fall, but really its probably not going to be. I am not going to be like tailgating and going to class in the fall. I am goign to be WORKING. I was so anxious last year for what it would feel like if I got to this time and hadn't lined anything up and now its real and I just couldn't care less. Like I think I realized when I was working for the past few months like it's not like I am actually not going to have enough money to be alive, I just might like barely have enough money to be alive. I really wonder where I am going to live next year. It is just so weird not to know and not to be able to plan it out until I can find a job. 

    I planned a lot for how much I was going to miss John, and how much I would miss like my family, but I had not really planned for how much I would miss my friends. While the girls in this program are very sweet, we don't have a ton in common and I wonder about if erika is in chicago next year if we will like ever hang out again. I just failed to make appropriate provisions to talk with my friends while I was here. I think so far that is the really big lesson becuase it has always been like so important to have a boyfriend. Well right now I have a great boyfriend so I don't feel the need to be trying to fill a void on that front, but I am still left with a lot of time on my own and it is kind of uncomfortable. I don't know what to do with myself. So I stopped biting my nails, but they are growing really slowly and even when I paint them they look like a child painted them because I have bitten them for so long I don't think I ever learned how to do it well.

      This week is going to be super busy I feel because we have our class meetings spread out, amine is coming to town, I have a french test, and I have a meeting for the like student counsel kind of group at school. I don't know when I am going to fit my knitting group in, I might not be able to go this week :(. and it was CANCELLED last week.

     Tatiana and I went to the ghetto of paris to go to this flea market at porte de clingnancourt. It was actually like really cool. I got harassed less than I do in an average day just around town and they had like all of this music playing from booths and everything ti was just really fun. I think we are going to try to go back there and go out to eat, and I might try to take John there too when he comes. I also went to like, a whole bunch of vintage shops. They all really made me want a fur coat/leather coat. Everybody just looks so chic wearing them... I tried to convince myself that it wont be cold for very  much longer and I think I would never wear it in the united states. They are just so cheap! and cute! 

Figue

Thats right, I ate this: 

I finished my vest! sorry I can't figure out how to rotate pictures in here. I feel like this week was rather uneventful. I can't believe that on friday I will have been here a month already. wow. 25% done with the semester? More, because I only have to go to school 8 times in april? I got everything settled for John's and my spring break. I think it is going to be really great. I can't believe it is only a month really until he is here! Today it was really gorgeous so Tatiana, Zoe, Beatriz and I went to do our homework in the sunshine on the steps of Sacre Couer. It was beautiful, I love it over there. It is in that neighborhood that I bought my buttons. They had a ridiculous selection like walls and walls of them. Then I bought a yard of satin-y materiel for a euro. I am going to try to line the dress that I am wearing in this picture. I bought it here, it has been my most expensive purchase so far but it is super see through. I could always wear it with tights I guess. SPeaking of tights, my box with my glasses in it got stuck at customs. I talked to my host sister about it and sent them an email so hopefully I hear back soon because I would really like everything that is in it. We went out this weekend to the birthday  party of a boy in Tatianas class, and then with PIerre and Gabrial again. They wanted to go to a discotech again but it was going to be very pricey and we just said no, and made them come to this like chill restaurant with us. That is where Gabriel told me I have a very strong american accent :(. I casted on and have been working on a new scarf with the yarn that John's grandma gave me, it is really hard to work with though and I have started over 3 times already. I would buy some more and start something else but I cannot find any other yarn like at all. I am not in love with this pattern, but at the knitting club there are like hundreds of books so maybe I will get some ideas. I went for a run today and stumbled on a market where I bought a lot of fruit to have for lunch. They had dresses that were really similar to mine, but not as nice :). They had yarn too, all from America though and the like walmart brands that are very generic. I want to go to the bonmarche this week, or one of the monoprix's that carries it too. I am starting to think about what I am going to bring home for people. I can't believe I have been here for a month without traveling anywhere else. Although I am trying to get people to go to london the weekend after next but so far no- go. I guess spring break will take care of a lot of that bug, and amine is coming next week...this week? I'm not sure, with his new girlfriend to talk about when I can stay with him in Montpelier. I'm really bummer about how its looking like I'm not going to make it to spain though because my little is traveling like literally every weekend. Maybe I am just going to have to go by myself and for like the first half of the week. Then if we can hang out cool, and if not, fine. I feel like my french has not gotten much better lately, like I was still struggling at dinner a lot tonight, but there were like 10 people here and I was really tired. I hate sundays here, I am always tired all day and theres nothing to do because nothing is open! I've decided (after my incident where I shaved my fingernail off) to try to stop biting my nails, because I hate everything about it. I was realizing this week that I have only talked to erika like twice since I have been here, and eva sporadically. We have always been that kind of friends that like sometimes we do our own thing and arent always in touch. It just didn't occur to me how I had been missing that because I have been able to talk to my family and John so much. Anyway, it has been 54 minutes at least since I finished watching the last episode of the L-word online so I should be allowed again. Goodnight!

the bathroom is beautiful, the shower is glass and you can stand up and shower it is fantastic it feels like the first time I have been clean since I got here. There isn't enough room to take a good picture of it though. And i bought a HAIR DRYER finally.

Give me the pineapple!

There is a new woman staying at my house who is crazy. She is from alaska and she like can hardly speak any french at all so she speaks SO SLOWLY. I though it was just her french but then I heard her speak english and I guess that is just  how she talks. My host mom told me she was around 30 but I think she is more like 50 because she has a 30 year old daughter and is going to be a grandmother in august. She is super awkward and in some ways kind of creepy. She like invited me into her room to look at pictures of her family but then insisted on speaking french so it took like 45 minutes. At dinner though we keep like having to break into english though, or like the host mom will talk to her and everyone else will like talk over her and around her and it made me like, so happy because I was at least more with it then her. Even though I asked what a word meant tonight and the sister was like we already explained that tonight, and like laughed. I think though overall it has made my host family appreciate more how like bad my french COULD be, and as a result I am now facebook friends with my host brother! So I was feeling really good about my french but then this happened:

 I was really hungry because I hadn't had time to eat breakfast since I woke up 45 minutes before my class started. We have a short break at school so I went down to the cafeteria to buy a snack. I told the lady I wanted an "anana" and some yogurt. I told her over and over because she didn't understand me because yogurt is really hard to pronounce, but really she had no idea what fruit i wanted so I finally just like reached over and grabbed it. And she goes "OOOOHHHHH, Banane." Evidently ananas does not mean banana, it means pineapple, and I was like demanding one from this poor woman while like pointing at a banana. 

Combined with how impossibly difficult my french homework is I am feeling pretty lame in the french department today. My french father is really cool though, he always like wants to talk politics and I think he slows down his speech some but not as much as his wife. The brother on the other hand I can hardly understand at all, and I think he does that on purpose. Anyway, the dad was telling this story about how someone at work had a picture of his wife on his desktop of his work computer. My host father was like appalled, he said that was too private and couldn't believe that his coworker would do that. He said that one of the younger guys, even had a picture of him and his GIRLFRIEND up there. Oh, my, word. 

My knitting group though, was fantastic. Most of the other people there are american, canadian, belgian, swiss, and there are a couple of french people. There are a lot of like girls about my age who have moved here because they married french men. A guy who was there talked like in depthly about the process of PACS-ing (like becoming legal partners essentially, you can enter into a contract to have the same rights except reproductively as married couples whether you are homosexual or heterosexual) becuase he and his partner are getting pacsed so their taxes are less. It was really interesting. Everyone is VERY good, and I stayed for almost 3 hours. I knitted so much I ran out of pattern that I had with me but I guess and I did it exactly right, it was great. Not I picked up and knit around the collar, I am working on that now, the ribbing. I need to find someplace that sells buttons though. Also, I have never knitted button holes before and I don't quite know how it is going to work. I guess I can ask on wednesday. When I came home though, I had asked my mom here to make me a plate and put it in the fridge but instead she just left all of dinner on the table, just out. I was so confused. I like put it all away after but I don't know where anything goes because she never lets me do anything (like COOK for example) so I hope I did it right. I felt really bad. She said its no big deal though and she can do it all the wednesdays, so who knows. 

Today on the metro a little girl started petting my hair (I think we are the only two people in paris who have pink coats, and she was 2 and a half). So I started like peeking at her and then I was like in english, you are so cute! can I keep you? And her dad turned around and in english was like "NO!" She was really adorable though, but didn't want to speak french with me either :(. Being here makes me really want a puppy too because all the homeless people have dogs. I guess if you have a dog you can't be taken to jail because there is nothing to do with the dog so thats why they all have them. Daffy the jaques russelle as they called him came over to play yesterday too. He wanted to play with my KNITTING though and that wasn't going to fly. It's funny, they tell him to s'assoir himself instead of to sit. I mean, that means to sit, but it just seems long, and like really hard for a dog. 

That reminds me about how sick I am about my french homework though. Seriously. It is impossible.  I am posting some more pics after this, please note the HEATED TOWEL RACKS and remember the kids built it like entirely themselves pretty much. 

I am still super stressed out about travel plans for me and John though. I feel like I need to reserve trains and hostels pretty soon so we can sit together and such, but I can't without the railpasses I don't think. Beth has me thinking that maybe it makes more sense just to stay in paris and normandy, but I think John wants to go to the places I want to as well. Or at least he doesn't want to stay in Paris the whole time and I feel like by shortening the trip all we lose are the places we want to see most, so I don't know what to do. I wish that my friends didn't want to go out like every single night all weekend so that I could get things done and not be so stressed out during the week. Or at least not stay out until 5. I just want to like, get up at a reasonable time and not be exhausted all day, and be able to run and LIFT when I want to. And not have to eat carbs for like every meal, or possibly know what is in the food I am eating. I just feel really old. This weekend we met this girl who was hanging out with these guys we had met up with and she was like how old are you? And I was like 21, and she was like "oh I didn't realize you were older." lol. She was 18. She was born in 1991. unbelievable. 

Week 2

Today was my first day of class in my second week. I at the same time can't believe how long it feels like i've been here and how short. There is another girl staying at my house now from Switzerland. She will be here for 3 weeks. Since we always speak only french at dinner it is really interesting to hear the different accents between like, the italian guys who were here last week and her for example. Realizing how long i've been here makes me realize how easy things have been since I have been here. It was such a pain getting ready to leave it was almost a let down how easy getting everything going here is. I'm really struggling trying to get travel plans together though. When the italians were here we talked briefly about how one of them wrote a thesis about anti-semitism in Italy. Then like days later they recommended a website for me to find cheap fares on that is called the holocaust so I thought I had just misunderstood them and blew it off. Then last night at dinner my host brother recommended it again so I was like what??? I guess it is like a fairly common french word? But I still can't find the site. I also need to look at this bus line thing for other like smaller trips outside of spring break. 

     Dinner last night was very silly because my host family went out of town without telling me. So I showed up at dinner expecting it to be ready at 730 for the first dinner of the week (because I have dinner here Sunday- Thursday). Anyway, the host brother was down there eating what I later found out while it was in my mouth was pork intestines (Evidently you can choose to eat the skin or not, as a matter of personal preference) and like not expecting me at all. So I felt really bad and told him that I had food and could just make it myself but he told me to come back at 8 and when I did his uncle was there and he had cooked a quiche and a cake. I guess his uncle comes and has dinner here every Sunday night,

The lack of being able to cook for myself like really bothers me though. I think I am just too independent in some ways because I am so spoiled from being able to live by myself. Many of the reasons for which it is uncomfortable for me to stay with my own family long-term make it uncomfortable for me to stay here too. Of course, my own family lets me cook. I miss eggs and toast so desperately. I tried to talk to my host mother about moving around some food but I don't want to be rude and she like tried a little but it would have been a lot of trouble to switch the menu I guess. I just can't eat bread and sugar for breakfast, I need some protein or I am crashing like 2 hours later. Even if the mirabelle plum jam that they can from their garden is the most delicious thing I have ever eaten. I may have eaten it all up, thats how much I like ti, becuase there was some berry medley jelly with the crepes we had for desssert tonight in its place. I just hate being out of control, and especially with food. And also without a scale or a good way to excercise besides running and like, doing isometrics in my room.

        In an attempt to gain some autonomy in that sense I bought  whole lot of food. I bought a giant thing of activia which includes the flavors of prune, cranberry, rhubarb, and fig. They are so bizarre but sort of good. But, again there is nothing low fat or fat free in France so I feel like when I eat them they are like greasy almost. I was thrilled to be able to buy cottage cheese in these little like to go packages almost like yogurt. But then it turned out to be this like weird kind of whipped cheese that the internet says is very delicious with fruit. It is kind of good but really doesn't solve any problems food-wise and so I tried to tell my host brother, Come, that he could have some if he wanted but I am pretty sure he cannot understand a word I say. I would probably hate it if I were him and there were people in my house all the time. 

       I got my french hair cut today and the woman and I like didn't communicate at all. She like heard my accent and insisted that we speak english even though I had like looked up all the words how to say how I wanted my hair cut, and then like, didn't do any of the things I asked her to do. I'm bummed because my hair is like still really long and I wanted it to feel a lot lighter. And I was so mad I forgot to ask her where I can buy a cheap hair dryer. 

Tomorrow is my first day of Intermediate 2 french class. Deciding to switch was like really hard because I have like really no good reason to be in a class that is harder since I am graduating and it might hurt my GPA. But I just like, think I am better at french than I am I guess and I hate being in that class where like it hurts my ears to hear people talk. Even if that is where my grammar is at. So, hopefully this new class isn't too hard, I feel like I have been over  my head in french for forever so I'm used to it. I've at least studied most of the things in the class before even if they don't like come naturally in my speech or in my writing. 

I'm watching the french food network channel and I think I would really like to try foie gras. 

So, I guess I'm going to go bookmark hostels for spring break. I'm going to try to go to the french knitting club this week so hopefully there will be lots of stories about that for next week!